Lord have mercy. Where do I begin? Being in the game at 36 is brutal. The ones you want to show interest don't & the ones you wish would take a long jump off a short bridge pursue you like you're the last piece of ass on the planet. & there is no happy medium... they either want ALL of your time, or don't want to give you enough of theirs; go figure.
I've tried the online thing. Lasted on Plenty of Fish for about a week... my nerves couldn't stand it. Desperados, wierdos, & superficial assholes. If you're going to send me a message, you are one of about 500, so PLEASE have something to talk about or meaningful to say. Desperation should be quiet, not screaming like the headline on the front of today's newspaper. Vulnerabilty, desperation, & loneliness are not attractive qualities in men (or women, for that matter). For God's sake if you can't spend a few hours alone with yourself, then who in the hell else do you expect to want to spend time with you? Head shots aren't good enough... & some will let you know in the first message. Well, here's the ghetto booty I've been hiding, asshole, but what's up with that bald head you're hiding under that ballcap & is that a beer gut under your shirt or are you 7 months pregnant? I'll agree, looks & attraction are important...but geez...if looks are ALL you care about then you're pretty shallow & there's no need to try to look underneath your surface because there is nothing there.
& some won't take no for an answer. Persistence is a complete turnoff. Show a little mystery, really. If I know I can have you right off the bat, I don't really want you. Don't lay it all out on the line from the get go. & If I hear from you every five minutes, I don't know if I miss hearing from you when I don't (because don't never comes)!
& some just want to let you know about their whole life story & baby mama drama right up front. & if I tell you I don't want to hear it, but you proceed to throw it at me anyway, then that shows me that you have no respect whatsoever for BOUNDARIES!!!!! & no woman wants a man that can't respect boundaries & most importantly handle his "baby mama" because that means at some point SHE'S going to have to handle it herself & that's going to open the door to God knows what & it ain't gonna be pretty! So I gotta see low hanging balls of brass before I can subject myself to a man with kids by another woman unless that bitch is dead.
So I give up on this three ring circus of trying to date... it just isn't worth it. My tolerance level is exhausted & my bullshit-o-meter is completely busted. I'm comfortable in my own skin so the need to constantly be around someone isn't an issue at all & when I'm not working crazy hours I have a son & two dogs to look forward to coming home to so loneliness isn't a factor either. I am deciding as of this moment that if I am meant to be with a man GOD is going to have to SEND him to knock on my door & he'd better be some kind of special for me to give him my time or anything else I have to offer.
